Psychological lense-Speaking through my camera to my new friends in Vietnam

(Written by Vietnam Veteran who met Amerasians in Vietnam after one of our return trips

 As I zoom lensed my camera into their eyes in my best photography, I saw these thoughts as I independently photographed these asking people: ~Did my dead father die on the battlefields of Vietnam?~Would I be loved by the American people?

~How can I escape the life that I love?

~Will my mother come with me if I leave my homeland?

~How can I be sure these strangers are sincere?

~I do not want to beg for a chance in life, but I am

~Is my God their God?

~I feel hope & happiness.

~Stay strong, don’t let them see fear in my eyes.

I put down my camera, my psychological zoom lens. The photographs forever stay in my mind. We wave, hug, shake hands, say goodbye, but not forever.

Past Practice
The Hmong of America marched through my mind each step of the way. The way to another land after post 1975 is not easy.

Vietnam Veteran meeting Amerasians with Thuy in Vietnam

See other reflection (Lost Children of Asia) and our (Website).

Please help share this story in trying to help reunite an Amerasian with her Vietnam veteran father (One woman’s search for her father)

Founder’s Reflections (Healing my wounds of war)

Lost Children of Asia- Poem Veteran writes after meeting Amerasians in Vietnam

January 11th, 23:13 (Written by Vietnam Vet after he met Amerasians in Vietnam on one of our return trips)

So I said to my new-found friends when I saw them, “Who are you?”.  

And they say, “I’m not sure”.

So I said to my new friends, “Where are you going?”

And they say,  “I’m not sure”.

So I said to my new friends, “Where have you been?”

And they say, “Looking for you”.

So I said to my new friends, “Is that I that I see in you?”

And they say, “I’m sure”.

So I said to my new friends, “What can I do for you?”

And they say, ‘I’m not sure”.

So I said to my new friends, “You are my family”.

And they said, “yes”.

So I said to my family, “I love you”.

And they said, “I’m not sure”.

Be sure my friends and family I love you. You are my family now & always will be.

Meeting Amerasians with Thuy on return trip to Vietnam (Second Reflection- Psychological Lense- Speaking through my camera to my new friends in Vietnam) and our (website)

Please help us spread the word about this father we are trying to reunite with his Amerasian Daughter (A Daughter longs for her father)

Healing my wounds of war (An Amerasian Daughter’s Reflections- poems)

A Vietnam Vet reflects on the abandonment of Vietnam and America’s children

A Vietnam Veteran’s thoughts on meeting Amerasians with Thuy

Vietnam trip with Thuy 2010

Daughters and Sons of servicemen, what country abandons its own children?

Meeting Amerasians, men and women, and family members today was a deeply moving experience. It somehow connected one deeply to that other reality of 40 years ago. I could see in the faces of the men, the young men, the young soldier. It was a haunting experience to see their faces, as if the past was somehow once again real.

I also became aware of basic thought patterns which I held about the fathers of these Amerasians. One thought pattern which I became aware of as being false is that the men abandoned the women here in Vietnam and abandoned their offspring.

Today I saw the faces of young men who maybe died here a few weeks or days after their liaison or who were medevac to the U.S with body parts missing, or mentally or psychologically crippled. No judgement and no understanding of our individual situations is possible. Who can find fault with a young man knowing he may never see his next birthday to take comfort & escape with a willing tender partner?

If government policy is a reflection of the morals and values of the society as a whole, then surely that society which deliberately turns it’s back on these people, the sons and daughters of its own service men, then that society surely is heartless and cruel.

That same society sent its young men into the situation which must assuredly produce the results that we encountered today. It is therefore the society’s responsibility which created this eventually to acknowledge and support these sons and daughters just as it does any son or daughter born to a serviceman within the borders of the U.S.A. What country, what society abandons its own children?

*TSIO does acknowledge that although there were many Veterans who were not aware of having a child, the fact is that some children and their mothers were also abandoned. This was only one Veteran’s reflections.

Related Posts:  Vietnam Veterans meeting Amerasians in Vietnam for first time

Vietnam Veterans meeting Amerasians in Vietnam for first time

Vietnam trip with two Vietnam Veterans- January 2010

Arriving at the restaurant to meet fellow Amerasians:

I was so overwhelmed. I looked at all of them and felt very honored to meet them, little did they know.

We started with introductions and I told them~ I am here because I never want to forget where I came from and I am a proud Amerasian. I also told them they were my brothers and sisters.

You can see the American features in their faces. That was the overwhelming part. With me, I am always mistaken for someone from the Middle East. With them however, it was very clear they were part American.

I was so proud of the Vietnam Veterans who were with me for wanting to meet with them. They were worried they would not be liked and wasn’t sure they wanted it known they were Veterans. I told them with my experience it would probably be the opposite. They would be happy to know that they were veterans who took time to come and meet them. I was correct.

They hugged the veterans and were so happy to have the interaction with them. To all Vietnam Veteran who have been writing to me about this, I thank you. I thank you for not forgetting and caring about us.

Those forgotten from the war in Vietnam

This is a clip from a new documentary about the plight of Amerasian children left behind in the Philippines. This is also a similar story for the Vietnamese Amerasians and Amerasians from other countries as well.

Servicemen are either stationed in many of  these Asian countries or are there for a brief visit. During this time intimate relations occur between the soldiers and the women of these countries. In many cases children are born due to these visits and then are left behind without a father to endure many hardships. These incidents are not isolated or rare occurrences.

Although there are many servicemen who have developed loving relationships and have acknowledged their responsibility toward their own children, many have not. These innocent children grow up without having a father and experience much shame, stigma, and discrimination for being an interracial child. Those with African-American descent or darker skin experience this even more.

In the case of Vietnam, there were some loving relationships and not all women were prostitutes or bar girls. This is a myth and stereotype. My parents are a good example. In fact they were married in Vietnam during my father’s second tour. He met her while she was working at an American mess hall serving food and as a maid. For those who were prostitutes and bar girls- so what? They are still people who all too often are victims of poverty and other unfortunate circumstances to begin with. It would be easy to dehumanize and demonize the women as an act of justification.

Sometimes during the war in Vietnam people genuinely got separated and were unable to reunite. I hold no judgement from that time period. I understand as in the case of Vietnam for some, being young especially during wartime, lends itself toward living in the moment and not always thinking ahead with making the best choices.

I know there were some Vietnam Veterans who didn’t even know they had a child. For those who did know, many had no idea how to find them again. There are Veterans who have tried to search for their kids. Some actually found them.

My experience of being Amerasian in this country was not a positive one. I was discriminated against not only by some youth, but some adults. I was told in the United States I did not belong in this country and to go back to “my county”. I also had some adults use physical aggression toward me. Some in the Vietnamese community were also discriminative.

I felt ashamed for being from Vietnam, for being Cambodian Vietnamese, and for being Amerasian. Today it is different. I embrace being Amerasian and I’m proud of it. Despite what I experienced I still consider myself the fortunate one and am truly proud of my American Vietnam Veteran father.

I have worked hard to bridge the gap with the rest of the community about Vietnam Veterans. I proposed and advocated for a Vietnam Veteran’s Day in my state, organized many events and platforms for them to come together and share their stories, and am part of a coalition of states advocating for a national recognition. All across the nation Vietnam Veterans have been receiving their long-awaited proper acknowledgment after 40 some years. I support this whole- heartedly. You may possibly find this hard to believe since I am writing about this topic. There were many victims of the war in Vietnam, and yes the American soldiers as well. There was “good and bad” that took place from every end. When I bring awareness to Vietnam Veterans, I bring awareness to Veterans like my Vietnam Veteran father whose intention of going to Vietnam was to do good. There were many honorable men like him as well. For those who made past mistakes of ignoring their responsibilities regarding this issue, many are also trying to make things right today. Many of the Vietnam Veterans I’ve talked to are embarrassed and ashamed whether or are embarrassed by their fellow Veteran who did. Many G.I.s from the Vietnam War Era have contacted me asking for help to find their child or possible child. Of course there are those who simply want to forget. However, I’ve always said and truly believe that this whole thing regarding the war in Vietnam can not truly come full circle until everyone that has been affected by the war in Vietnam and their stories have actually been acknowledged.

I feel for the other Amerasians  as well. Although from different countries, we are all the children of servicemen.

Many Amerasians who have been able to reside in the land of our fathers have focused on moving ahead with our lives. We have worked hard, become leaders in our communities, and been successful in our lives. All we want now is to not only be able to tell our stories, but especially the stories of those less fortunate Amerasian children of American Servicemen.

On the flip side- watch powerful reunion of this father with his Filipino Amerasian daughter.

What are your thoughts? What responsibility should our Government have? What about the government of the Philippines or other countries with this similar issue? What is the solution to this issue in preventing other tragic stories in the future?